To all who want to add me in LJ just to read Tennyo, sorry for the late response and discontinuation. I will try to see if I can salvage some inspiration to continue it but the chances of a Chapter 3 will be minimal to none.
- Current Mood: guilty
Hooray for me!
- Current Mood: amused
MUST PIMP THIS VIDEO
- Current Mood: artistic
- Current Music:Look at Me Now-KarminMusic
Fandom: Fiewvinder series (or something that rhymes with that)
Pairing: Him and
Warnings: Sex, sexy pictures, sexy men, sexy young men
Summary: A young Japanese "receiver or bottom in a homosexual relationship" tries or how to put it in another term, convices his older male partner, who is also the "giver or top in a homosexual relationship" to make use of his visual functions on viewing a group of sentences which was digitally entered into an infamous internet forum. The bottom's fervent wish was to garner some "lulz" in the process.
Disclaimer:Author doth not claimeth ownership upon "Thou Art Mine Spoils of Love in Viewfinder"
Author also expresses desire for challengers to come forth and present ye olde title in their own versions:)
I snagged this from a 4chan board about a year ago and I had to share it to everybody
“Asami, get off me for just a sec!” Takaba Akihito snarled, pushing away his older lover. Asami had arrived for his daily lovemaking session with Aki but the younger man was waaaaay more interested in some badass website than sex right now. (And that’s saying something!)
“What’s gotten you so uptight now, brat?” Asami muttered, not really bothering to hide the annoyance in his tone. His sources told him that Akihito missed his usual-stalk-Asami-time-for-underhanded-m
“I’m surfing the net. It’s a usual past time for human beings on planet Earth so go screw yourself over drugs and dead rivals or something” Takaba replied nonchalantly while slapping Asami’s hand away from his waist.
Okay, now Asami Ryuiichi is pissed. (And that’s saying something!)
“I really have no idea why young kids prefer to waste their youth on a computer screen. They should be out there playing sports, reading books and being a useful member to society.” He said harshly, thinking of all those “sub-humans” and their “sub-culture” whenever he had to pass by Akihabara.
Once again, Takaba Akihito ignored him, his eyes glued on to some forum post which was possibly made up of bullshit (like everything else he imagined himself to be in a few years if he didn’t learn to grow up)
Asami’s eyes quickly scanned the first paragraph and decided that it was another drama post from some high school girl, judging by the picture beside the post.
She should really improve her grammar and spelling. If someone wrote that kind of letter to me, I’d have thrown them in sack of cement and s…He looked at Takaba for a moment and then recalled something.
Oh never mind…
“What?...wait? OH! Hahahahahaha!” Takaba suddenly burst into laughter and started banging his fits on the table. Asami was confused as to what the hell was so funny (And that’s still saying something!)
“Asami! You hafta read this! The shit’s so funny!” Takaba grinned and pushed his seat aside to make a better view for the older man.
“What’s so interesting about the life of some high school g-“
“Just fuckin’ read it already!”
(The things I do for him…) Asami thought wearily and started reading the post, his eyes on the picture of some disgusting teenage girl obviously suggesting something with the manner of her pose.
“Even at a young age, I knew I had power of boys….(Yeah, whatever, crap this…bla bla bla bla…vidya games? Excellent spelling…How the hell did this crazy girl pass grade school?) …I was foxy and flirty…(Your future seems determined already)…a nice butt and my delicious thighs…”
Asami paused to stare at Akihito’s respective parts and felt a bit tingly inside.
“…knew he was constantly checking me out when I had my back turned… (Yeah, Takaba still doesn’t notice when I do that to him everytime)…so I finally decided to make a move…”
Takaba was busy scanning the pictures in his digicam to notice the growing red flame of passion behind him.
“…blushed uncontrollably…I moved even closer and started playing with him.”
(Not bad…This girl can write good erotic stories in the future, based on her profession) Asami licked his lips and scanned further.
“…sat my soft body on his, he began to get a huge boner…(I’ll make Takaba feel mine later for wasting my time…) He pretended to focus…but obviously cannot. (I’ll drive him to insane heights of…)”
“…slowly grind my butt on his…(Oh he’ll have to do lots of that, definitely…) he lost the game and…”
Asami’s eyes widened and mouthed “What?” He re-read the last sentence and finally said “Wait…What?”
Takaba, upon hearing Asami’s reaction,went back to him with a triumphant smile on his face.
“See? I told you it was funny! Best “Wait…What?” kind of story, I’ve ever heard! LOL”
The demon regained his composure quickly and suddenly red aura filled the room. Takaba sensed danger and started to back away.
“A-Asami? Was it funny? He…he…Sorry if you didn’t like the story…” He gulped nervously as the giant piece of MAN-BEEF towered over him.
“No…no, it was entertaining. In fact, I like how the story goes…”Asami said silkily, with a snap of his fingers, Takaba’s clothes were ripped off in a typical anime fashion.
“Wh-What the hell did you do?!” the younger man yelled, trying to cover himself.
“Something the crazy author of this fanfiction can make me do” Asami explained, pushing Takaba onto the bed.
“Now, why don’t we try out what’s written on that silly screen of yours and you can start with the last sentence…” The demon spoke lustily as he dragged Akihito’s shaking hand to the opening of his pants.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 ’s later…
Asami got off the bed where Akihito was sleeping in a very weird position, having lost five of his heartpoints from the bastard’s relentless PWNing (In the end, Asami got 135 gold and leveled up)
The older man put on his briefs and went back the computer where it still featured that bothersome post. He read the entire post again and smirked. Maybe there were other stories like this on the other threads, he thought, making a mental note to remember the website and spend the whole day tomorrow surfing it.
Hell, He’d start with that /b/ sub-board, imagining it to contain childish topics like kids, food and other kiddie-related stuff there. (<---Author’s reaction: “HA HA HA! OH WOW!)
He clicked on the “Reply” button and typed “Cool story, bro”
- Current Location:Room
- Current Mood: amused
- Current Music:Don't Stand So Close to Me
NightygaL: I'm still booing! Anyway, let's continue with the second part of Chapter 2!
KING OF THE JUNGLE PART 2.b....IN 3D!!! Warning: Objects in 3D glasses may appear bigger and closer to your face than you think!
Let me introduce Feilong or “Typical Chinese bishie who wears nothing but traditional Chinese clothes…even in the jungle”. He was totally convinced that he was going on a trip to Europe and left the details of arranging everything to a very inexperienced 10 year old child. This was what happened in the phone conversation with their travel agent.
Tao: Hi! I’d like to arrange a trip to Europe for my boss!
Agent: Okay sweetie! How would you like a trip to Venice and enjoy the gondolas…
Tao: Eeerr…I don’t like boat rides and moustaches scares me.
Agent: Uhmm…okay…how about a coach around the countryside of France then a tour to the Louvre, Versailles and other historic sites where you can try the local cuisine...
Tao: But French foods are snails…Yuck! Me no like!
Agent: Okay then…how about Spain or London. I can tell you about the wonderful sites and scenenries about… (drabbles on)
What the shota was hearing: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA….
To cut the long story short, the trip went from Europe to this strange and unnamed jungle where the Baishe Organization was currently struggling under the weight of Feilong’s giant throne which he copied from that golden faggot of a ruler in the movie “300”.
Suddenly a VERY LOUD GUNSHOT was heard from the jungle and out came the greasy old character from Jumanji or Mikhail, what’s the difference?
“Heydy Howdy Ho!” Yelled the hunter who fired that shot and down came a VERY RARE American bald eagle. (Whoa! How did that get there?)
Feilong woke from a wonderful dream of yelling at his subordinates/slaves (which he does every two hours when he’s awake anyway) and yelled “WHO DARETH AWAKEN MY SLUMBER?!”
“Tis I, the great Mikhail Arbatov, swooping down from the depth of this jungle set to feast my eyeballs on your exquisite Oriental featu-“
He got squashed by the giant rolling pin of a portable throne which was made in Iran last week. Apparently the Chinese didn’t see him as anything of potential after taking note of his hunters’ clothes which didn't bear any known brands labels.
Anyway…back to the two guys who are not Chinese or vegetarian.
After engaging in what would be known as the longest time spent trying not to be fruitful to society which was recorded in the Guinness book of World Records, Ryu reclines in his sofa made of Italian cow hide leather while Aki was panting in exhaustion after how many rounds FAILED MPREG. (FAILED MPREG WIN, amirite?)
“You…bastard…how could Yamazaki-san have anything to do with this…” Akihito sobbed and gripped tightly on the sheets.
WAIT! HOLD ON A MINUTE THERE!!!
NightygaL: Aki!!! this isn’t the hidden portion of Volume one chapter one which the original mangaka didn’t add to the manga which lead to a contest where fans interpreted how this portion happened where I didn’t win anyway! <-Bitter?
Aki: Alright fine…what am I supposed to say then?
Well, you could try along the lines of “It was great how about another round or you have not yet satisfied me. Climb back on board the love boat and set sail again on the seas of-
“What the fuck?! I’m not saying any of those lines! If you hadn’t noticed, I’m in a bed with a wild jungle man in black Calvin Klein boxers who just spent the last 5 hours not being fruitful to society at all! Plus, I’m going through the post-traumatic stress of being a rape victim.
Yeah, whatever. Anyway Ryu eyed his
new love slave unsuspecting photographer and began the first decent and G-rated conversation they ever had in this fanfiction.
“Name?” Ryu grunted
“Oh go fuck yourself!” Aki yelled ruining the ratings.
TO BE CONTINUED!!! (Yeah this chapter sucks. Well, this is the effect of binging and a really really boring night of watching YuGiOh the abridged series)
Nighty: Wow! I actually continued a crack fic!
Nighty: I’m pretty stressed out so I’m typing this for the lulz!
Aki: Why can’t you be a contributing member to society rather than make crack fics?
Nighty: A contributing member to society? You mean like, NORMAL? Eeew! No way!
KING OF THE JUNGLE PART 2! (Part 2 is so very unoriginal because everything is getting sequels nowadays) Plus this sequel like all the other sequels out there…SUCKS MAJOR ARSE.
NightygaL: This is proof of how very uncreative I am. If you’ve read Viewfinder then you will be very familiar with the flow of the story…if not, then continue reading it! It’s not like I edited VF Vol.1 Chapter 1 and placed it in a jungle scene!
So the photographer that everyone loves
to rape found himself abducted by the king of the jungle in Calvin Klein.
“Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! Let me go! Put me down!” he shrieked and flailed around, not aware that if he was let down, he’ll die.
Ryu only grunted “Little homo sapien noisy. Must shut up.” before sedating him with a quick injection (He has his connections with medical supplies…from the jungle!)
The next morning Aki found himself awakened very rudely by water
cognac being splashed on his face.
“Homo sapien awake?” A strong manly voice reminding him of Koyasu Takehito boomed.
Aki opened his eyes and found himself naked and bound by
leather and chains vines which left his body wide open to rape Ryu’s perusal.
“What’s this…What’s going on?!” He yelled when Ryu pulled his leg further exposing him from in between the lines.
“Ryu likes view.” Ryu noted while smoking another one of his rolled-up leaves.
“H-hey! What are you doing?! I’m a guy! Stop staring!” Aki snapped his faced turning deep crimson but Ryu’s strong grip maintained his embarrassing position.
“Wish to know about Ryu? Ryu grant wish” The older man whispered smoothly opening the vial and forcing Aki to take whiff of the arousing *poison.
*Poison came from Man-eater plant in Crimson Spell! Buy now in ebay! 50% off! Very cheap!
But Ryu knows better because it can also be found…in the jungle!
“Waahh…What’s going on…My body feels so hot…” Takaba’s mind raged and the height of his arousal went straight up to his stomach.
Does anybody notice how similar this sounds? Naturally, bla bla yada yada yada , yaoi stuff, fangirl orgasm, bla bla bla so this part is getting waaaaaay too serious to the point it requires proper English sentences, phrasing and grammar.
Anyway, let’s skip that part because ruining the fun for throes of excited fangirls is number one priority.
Meanwhile…in the same expensive jungle set…Actually you can scroll down and miss out all the boring stuff here. Seriously, it’s just bitchy gayness anyway.
“I thought you said we were going to Europe for a tour of the palaces…” A very irate Chinese dude growled...
LIKE OMG!! My fic is going to be split into two parts! Just like the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!! Now it really sucks more! BOOOOOO! LJ! BOOOO!
- Current Mood: amused
NightygaL: Guess what! I’m back from college!
NightygaL: And guess what I just watched last night!
Aki: What? Another one of your hentai shows from You****.com?
NightygaL: Well…I watched that 2 days ago but anyway! I just watched it last night and it shall be the inspiration for another crazy VF crack fic!
Aki: WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!
NightygaL: I watched…GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!*
Aki: George of the Jungle?! That cheap Brendan Fraser Tarzan wannabe movie?!
NightygaL: Hey! Be lucky I didn’t watch Pirates of the Caribbean or anything that can imply hot tentacle rape in it!
Aki: But I’m still the victim!
NightygaL: Whatever! Now do the disclaimer!
Aki: *sighs* This is purely a work of fiction and the characters belong to Yamane Ayano. Concept came the the creator of George of the Jungle. Other quotes, movie trademarks, brand names and night clubs belong to their respective owners but NightygaL was the one typing like crazy at this fic.
KING OF THE JUNGLE
Ryu: Level 59 King of the Jungle, Co-owner of the Animal Planet Safari Club, no seriously…
Takaba Akihito: Unsuspecting Photographer in the jungle…ALONE. (seriously, what’s new?) An infinite source of lulz even when he’s doing nothing.
Asami’s Bodyguards: Two giant gorillas (nothing changed, am I right?)
Characters that might not appear in this fic.
Fei long: Typical Anime Chinese Male Character (did I forget to mention he’s really pretty and wears old Chinese clothes a lot?), Official moderator and maintainer of Baishe Organization
Tao: A shota moderator under Feilong. He regularly makes sure that everyone still carries 100% adoration for Feilong. Can be mistakened for jailbait when feeding prisoners.
Baishe Organization: The official Feilong Fanclub with 1000+ members
Yoh: A member of Baishe permabanned by the moderator.
Mikhail: Some hunter who shoots animals for no reason and is a vegetarian (Why?), Also loves trolling Baishe and is the number one cause for their BAWWWWs
Once upon a time, approximately 35 (+ something) years ago, a plane crashed in the jungle and the only survivor was a baby who was suddenly picked up by a bunch of gorillas that had nothing better to do but raise a human child rather than breed one of their own. The chimpanzees were pretty lucky the gorillas picked him up because the baby would have eaten them instead of vice versa.
Anyway, the child was called(Asami) “Ryu”(iichi) and we can assume that he will be the main character in this story with the hot seme looks and the big seme **ck.
He learned to swing on the hanging vines, wear a loincloth made of dead animal skins and learning to bang on his chest and give out a large call to be his trademark until the author NightygaL got sued by the creators of Tarzan for infringing trademark issues.
So in the end, “Ryu” will not have a trademark animal-ish cry but instead speak less and chain smoke using tobacco rolled up in leaves. How he got those, we’ll never know. His loincloth days are over, he’ll be wearing black Calvin Klein briefs humanahumanahumanahumanahumana… anyway he appears very sophisticated that he learned to use his sharp eyes, devilish smirk, and advance human brain to an advantage. He became lord of the apes. (Then he reached level 50+ and evolved to Lord of the Jungle) and took the two biggest, hairiest gorillas to be his bodyguards.
Then for some reason, he realized that he liked men or maybe he was hanging out with these guys too much.
And given the fact that it was the jungle and the chances of him meeting dudes of the same species was ZERO. How he dealt with puberty and raging hormones at the time when he was surrounded by nothing but animals and trees will forever confuse us. How Tarzan and Mowgli dealt with it is left to your imaginations.
Now that we’ve established Asam…Ryu to be a pretty cool guy, the idea for his “kingdom” turns out to be very unoriginal. He has this gigantic, enormous…in short ginormous treehouse where he sleeps in and exerts his dominance over lesser creatures which is unfair given the fact that he’s HUMAN to begin with.
So as we speak, he currently stands on his throne as
the Fresh prince of Bel-air, King of the Jungle most awesome character in this fic.
Now we introduce Aki-chan!!!
A photographer, stuck in the job which his character is really known for, was walking around the jungle taking pictures of
drunk, trashy celebrities animals and other stuff politicians making shady deals which I don’t even know. So yeah, he was taking pictures of stuff that a bajillion of us have already seen in Discovery, National Geographic, TMZ, E, Crime TV and Animal Planet replays but the difference was he’s no Austin Stevens but he can trash talk like Harvey Levin.
It all happened a few days ago since his childhood was pretty boring and uneventful because it’s a typical rebel/problem child upbringing which was common these days. It will also bore the readers to their graves if the author even dared to mention what he was like as snotty toddler. (He hasn’t changed much in 20+ years)
Aki: HEEEEYYYYY!!!! You gave the Asami an awesome background and you don’t even care to give me anything?!
Yes. So anyway, it all started a few days ago when your boss forced you to take pictures of animals because he thought those Australians, Jeff Corwin and Sir David Attenborough was the bomb. He had no sense of adventure but he remembered that you were the one who masqueraded as Barney the Dinosaur, a waiter, a big-chested woman, a tree, a pizza box, a Knights Templar, a drug addict, a jailbait, the Prime Minister of Japan, a dildo, a poodle, a cigarette mascot, Paris Hilton, the animal mascot in someone’s beach resort, Dora the Explorer, Kamen Rider, Harry Potter’s scar, a piece of gum, an underwear model, the cancer killing /b/, Snooki (believable!), The Situation (you were caught immediately), Ayumi Hamasaki, Morton Salt container, the Meatspin (your best disguise ever), Asami Ryuiichi’s cat….oh no wait, that was really you. In short, you had what it takes to get the perfect shot.
Anyway, your boss knew about your giant wardrobe of costumes (how you managed to squeeze all that in your tiny apartment baffles us.) so he thought you were perfect for the job of taking pictures of
the government wild ferocious animals who will not hesitate to tear you to shreds.
Due to hard economic times, the boss did not hire any escorts or bodyguards to assist you in your mission because
Ryu’s gorillas the best bodyguards in the world were too expensive (5 kilos of bananas, 1 pack of nuts per day plus a suite in the Ritz Carlton and a day off in a Caribbean cruise/The Playboy Mansion).
That meant you were walking around talking pictures of animals ALONE. And how different are animals to irate celebrities when photogs attack? One particular elephant got pissed when you started flashing at him while he was
buying a Frap in Starbucks grazing so you literally shit bricks when he started charging towards you.
So you were running for your life in the realistic and very expensive jungle set like
a typical damsel in distress an uke until a very strong manly arm which smelled of smoked tobacco snatched you out of nowhere.
“Jack! I’m flying!”© You could have yelled but then NightygaL remembered that Titanic got that line first and not wanting to get in the bad side of James Cameron, instead you were screaming your head off and having seizures the whole time.
The author also wanted you to pull a 360 degree head spin but that’s too scary and the author can't sleep at night after watching The Exorcist.
Is this fic going to be continued? I don’t really know as well!
GossipGirl The Author
EPIC WIN for me. I'll translate it in English but trust me, it sounds WAY better in the original language.
In the 3rd floor of a building in MY SCHOOL:
Accounting major: Dude, Can you treat me? I just failed a quiz in one of my majors, Even just a cigarette would be ok...
Financial Institutions Management major: Sure mate! I'll give you a shifting form totally free! (Shifting forms are FREELY GIVEN AWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE!!)
Accounting major: CRAZY!!!
ME: WTF (Sees unknown number on screen) HELLO???
Some middle-aged dude: Hello, do yo have any reservations?
Some middle aged-dude: Do you have any reservations?
ME: Uhm...I think you have the wrong number.
SMAD: Oh sorry...(hangs up)